Mark 10:1-12 “God’s Institution of Marriage”

Good Morning Calvary Chapel Lake City!

Well, it was a blessing to go Christmas caroling and fellowship with many of you last week.

My favorite quote of the night was from little Henry who said, “This is great! We get to go to other people’s houses and sing!”

Amazing.

Let’s turn in our Bibles to Mark 10. Mark 10:1-12.

We left off where Jesus and His disciples passed through Galilee and Jesus taught His disciples He would be betrayed, killed and rise the third day.

He repeated this message frequently during His ministry… and yet… it was difficult for the disciples to comprehend… and it made them sorrowful and fearful.

Nevertheless, on the road from Galilee to Capernaum, the disciples argued about who would be the greatest in the Kingdom.

And, when Jesus asked them about why they argued, they were silent… no doubt embarrassed about their pettiness.

But, we should be thankful… for this set up a teaching from Jesus where He laid out seven lessons about… true kingdom greatness… unity amongst Christians… kindness to other Christians… not stumbling Christians… the severity of Hell… and so forth…

Wonderful lessons that these Disciples… and us today… can meditate upon and apply as we represent our Lord to the world.

Today, the author of our Gospel… Mark… records another teaching of Jesus… this time about “God’s Institution of Marriage”… which is the title of our message.

And, I want to recognize that this may be a difficult and very personal topic for some of you.

Marriage and especially divorce are difficult topics to talk about.

But, the goal for today is to see what God’s word has to say about this topic.

Most of us have experienced the blessings of successful marriages… and the impact of failed marriages… either personally or in the lives of people around us.

And, it is a very touchy topic… as such many Pastors avoid messages surrounding this topic.

But, since we teach chapter-by-chapter and verse-by-verse… and last week we concluding Mark 9… this week we turn the page and we don’t skip Chapter 10, but we open the book for the next lesson…

And, that next lesson is Mark 10… and the topic is Marriage and Divorce.

And, we’re not going to shy away from this topic just because it may be a bit uncomfortable.

Just because we may have been hurt… or caused hurt in marriage or divorce.

I delight knowing that God shares His mind with us… that God gives us His ideal… His original design…

And, I delight knowing that we serve a gracious God… and even though, if we’re honest… most of us have failed to live out God’s ideal for marriage…

Our failures are not unpardonable… we don’t lose our salvation… even through marital mistakes and discord.

So, take a deep breath… we are going to enter into this topic knowing God will share His ideal… and even though we are less than ideal… He is gracious…

And, we can all praise God for that.

Let’s Pray!

In reverence for God’s word, please rise as I read today’s passage.

Mark 10:1-12 “Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again. 2 The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him. 3 And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” 5 And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Praise God for His word. Please be seated.

In the Parallel account… Matthew records Jesus departed from Galilee… which was probably not the easiest of departures…

Jesus was leaving the area where He was raised… the area where most of His ministry was performed… and the area where He had established His ministry headquarters…

A quote from the Expositor’s Bible reads, “IT is easy to read without emotion that Jesus arose from the scene of His last discourse, and came into the borders of Judæa beyond Jordan. But not without emotion did Jesus bid farewell to Galilee, to the home of His childhood and sequestered youth, the cradle of His Church, the centre of nearly all the love and faith He had awakened.”

Departing from one’s home is not typically easy, but Jesus had to depart to fulfill the Father’s will and fulfill scripture…

And His road ahead was difficult… because every step was one step closer to the Cross.

Verse 1 in our narrative today seems like a simple verse pointing out that Jesus is now in Judea… the Southern Region of Israel… home to Jerusalem…

Also stating Jesus is on the “other side of the Jordan”… meaning He and the disciples are on the East side of the Jordan river…

Which is called the Region of Perea… I have a slide of a map of this region…

What’s not mentioned in Verse 1 is the ministry that did on the ‘other side of the Jordan’ which is known as Jesus’ Perean Ministry.

Luke especially captures this ministry and the many teachings and parables Jesus shared…

You could note in your Bible next to Verse 1 to cross reference Luke chapters 10 -18 for the Perean ministry.

Around 8 chapters in Luke… about six months of ministry… are dedicated to this Perean ministry, but just a simple note in Mark’s gospel chapter 10, verse 1 that they came to the other side of the Jordan. “And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.”

And, then our teaching today and next week… Mark 10:2-31… occur at the end of the Perean Ministry.

And such a blessing to read at the end of V1 “… as He was accustomed, He taught them again.”

Jesus’ teaching ministry was His normal means of reaching the multitudes… that and healing which Matt 19:2 also records Him doing here in Perea…

The beautiful ministry of Jesus… teaching and healing the multitudes.

Key reasons we too are a teaching ministry and are not shy to beseech the Lord on your behalf for healing as well.

Then, V2… still in Perea… the religious sect of the Pharisees come to Jesus with an insincere question… asking “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Matthew 19:3 adds “… for just any reason?” (what they were really driving at)

And, both writers note they asked this question “testing Him.”

Had it been a question of them sincerely coming to Jesus… the Master Teacher… the One teaching the multitudes… for Jesus to settle a debate… or clarify a confusion… this would have been fine.

But, this was not the case. They were testing Him.

Mounce defines “testing” as “to make proof or trial of… whether with good or mischievous intent.”

And this was mischievous… certainly. No doubt they timed this question when Jesus was in Perea…

Where John the Baptist was formerly imprisoned and executed at the Fortress of Machaerus… also in Perea…

FOR… rebuking Herod Antipas over the matter of Herod unlawfully marrying Herodias… his brother’s wife… and his niece.

And, so if Jesus also comes against divorce… would Herod cut off Jesus’ head as well?

And, they timed this question when Jesus was in front of a multitude of people… because they wanted to divide the crowd.

Just like today, marriage and divorce is a hot topic, and the crowd would have a mix of opinions… because the famous Rabbis Hillel and Shammai held differing views on the topic based upon…

… their interpretation of Deut 24:1-4 the Law on Divorce…

Deut 24:1 reads “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house…”

And, the passage goes on, but the famous Rabbis had differing opinions about how to interpret this verse… especially what was meant by “uncleanness.”

The debate was over the phrase “some uncleanness” or “something indecent,”... ʿervâh dāḇār in Hebrew lit., “the indecency of a thing.”

Ervah by def. “nudity, nakedness, or to expose the nakedness.”

Dabar can take on many meanings including “thing.”

In the Jewish writing… the Mishnah… is a tractate or essay concerning family law and the writing of a “Get”… a writ of divorce…

That tractate is called the Mishnah Gittin… and in the 9th chapter… section 10… it states… and I quote…

“Beit [meaning “house’] Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he finds out about her having engaged in a matter of forbidden sexual intercourse [devar erva], i.e., she committed adultery or is suspected of doing so, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter [ervat davar] in her, and he writes her a scroll of severance” (Deuteronomy 24:1).”

Shammai focuses on the word “uncleanness”… interpreting this as a “forbidden sexual intercourse.”

Which was a death penalty according to Lev 20:10.

This was the conservative stance in Jesus’ day…

And, many scholars claim this was the unpopular view… not surprising… as it’s still unpopular today.

Continuing with the Mishnah… “And Beit [House] Hillel say: He may divorce her even due to a minor issue, e.g., because she burned or over-salted his dish, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter in her,” meaning that he found any type of shortcoming in her.”

Hillel focused on the word “thing”… it’s the word “some” in our Bibles. “Some uncleanness.”

A much more liberal stance in Jesus’ day… and more popular.

Reminds me of divorce law today… which has a number of “no fault divorce” reasons…

Irreconcilable differences… Incompatibility… in Indiana it’s called “Irretrievable breakdown”…

Rabbi Akiva says: He may divorce her even if he found another woman who is better looking than her and wishes to marry her, as it is stated in that verse: “And it comes to pass, if she finds no favor in his eyes” (Deuteronomy 24:1).”

Akiva came after Jesus, but still in the 1st century… and he was even more liberal then Hillel.

These Rabbi’s would look at the same verse and focus on a different facet… and provide various interpretations…

And the Pharisees knew some of the multitude held to Shammai’s view… and some held to Hillel’s view…

So, asking Jesus “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” was also a mischievous test in that if Jesus sided with one Rabbi or another… the crowd would be divided.

Jesus would alienate the conservative or liberal Jews depending on where He landed.

There are many Pastors today that allow the sway of the crowd to influence their Bible teaching…

This is wrong. Jesus holds to a Biblical view… He does not compromised God’s word… despite what might be popular by the crowd.

And, no doubt many of the people in the crowd would have personally been divorced or known someone who had been divorced… again… just like today.

So, some may have been personally offended… depending on how Jesus answered.

It’s a well laid trap that the Pharisees set for Jesus. And, the Bible tells us to avoid such troublemakers… those who cause division…

Rom 16:17-18 “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. 18 For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.”

Watch out for.. and avoid people who seek to divide the body… and form a following around themselves for selfish gain.

And, no doubt the Pharisees sought their own following… they served their own belly…

For we read in Mark 15:10… during Jesus’ trial “For he knew that the chief priests had handed Him over because of envy.”

They were jealous of Jesus. Envious of His ministry… His following… the love and respect people gave to Him… how they called Him Messiah… all of it.

So, they tested Him… they laid traps before Him…

But, Jesus does not fall for the trap… instead in V3… He answers their question with a question…

“What did Moses command you?”

This was and still is a very Jewish way of conversing…

If you want some coffee… and ask someone in Jerusalem, “Can you tell me how to get to Kadosh Cafe?” (which is an actual cafe in Jerusalem… thank you Google Maps).

Don’t be surprised if they reply, “Why do you want to go to Kadosh Cafe? Metaphora gets much better reviews.”

A question with a question…

But, in Jesus’ case… this is not just a back and forth Jewish dialogue…

Jesus essentially is saying… forget the opinions and interpretations of man… look to the word of God.

“What did Moses command you?” Moses who wrote the Torah… the first five books of the Bible…

“Is it lawful?” “Look to the Law” Look to the writings…

Jesus is saying, “You want to know what I think… I think you should consult your Bible.”

Sometimes… friends and family give you advice… sometimes good… sometimes not so good…

I very much appreciate advice backed by… and grounded in the word of God.

That’s my aim in giving advice… I encourage you to do the same…

And, that’s what Jesus is about to do.

He asks, “What did Moses command you?” And, the Pharisees were prepared… they knew the word…

They respond in V4, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”

The NASB Mark 10:4… puts their response in ALL CAPS.

“Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY.”

If you put something in all caps while texting, it’s like yelling at someone… and maybe they were…

… as once again… they look back to Deut 24:1-4…

And, Jesus responds, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.” (or command)

Matthew adds, “…but from the beginning it was not so.”

So, what Jesus is saying is Moses acknowledged divorce… but it was not him NOR GOD that instituted it… nor authorized it.

“Hardness of heart” Gk. sklērokardia can be translated as “obstinacy or perverseness.”

They were in rebellion to God’s will and His word.

They were the one’s divorcing… so Moses established parameters around divorce.

Divorce was never God’s ideal… but His concession…

The Israelites were hard hearted against one another and God’s original design…

And, so as a protection… God gave Moses Deut 24:1… and the protection was for the woman…

Lane wrote, “Its primary function was to provide a degree of protection for the woman who had been repudiated by her husband.”

The husband would provide her with a certificate of divorce (which I have a slide of)… to regulate man’s practice… and to protect the woman against accusations of adultery… which as mentioned earlier… carried a death penalty.

Keep in mind, Jewish marriage was not designed to be between two equals… like our marriage ceremonies…

The woman was ‘given in marriage’ and rights of females have come a long way.

But, the Certificate of Divorce would not have been needed IF the people were NOT hard hearted… and did not reject God’s view of marriage.

Which Jesus expounds upon… as He reminds them next of God’s original design… NOT for divorce, but for marriage…

VSS 6-9 “But from the beginning of the creation, [Jesus is obviously not an evolutionist] God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Before divorce was permitted… in the beginning God instituted Marriage. Jesus takes the Pharisees back to the beginning…

The question about divorce… by the Pharisees is like a question from a child who does not see the big picture…

They want to suck Him into a debate, but He is going to take them to school.

So, Jesus will give them the big picture taking them back to God’s original intent of joining a man and a woman.

In V6… Jesus says “God ‘made them male and female.’”

This is a great proof text for two things… first… that Jesus is God…

Hebrews 1:2 tells us God “...has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds...”

Jesus made the worlds and all that was in them.

And, here in V6… who made them male and female? God did… Jesus is God.

In John 17:5 Jesus prayed to the Father, “And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.”

Even before the beginning, Jesus was with the Father in glory…

And, then, John 1:1-2 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God.”

John 1:14 declares, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory…”

Some people don’t understand… and some people flat out deny that Jesus is God… but it just takes a few cross references… a heart that is not hard… and eyes that are not spiritually blind…

To see… clear as day… that Jesus speaks about Himself here when He declares “God ‘made them male and female.’”

The second observation about V6… and don’t forget… the context IS marriage… second we observe that God’s original design for marriage was for “male and female.”

Which are gender specific terms… male and female. There is no gender confusion with God… God’s original design is man and woman.

It was always Adam and Eve… NOT Adam and Steve...

God never emphasized gender with any of his other creations, but He did with mankind with implications to marriage.

Now certainly that’s NOT a popular message in this world and culture that we live in now…

Where many of us… even personally have friends or family who are living homosexual lifestyles… and some of you may know two men or two women who have legally been married.

The law of the land permits it… BUT, just like divorce… this was not God’s original design…

In the beginning, in six literal days… six 24 hour time periods… God made all of creation… all that we see and more…

And, at the end of each day He declared it was “good”… except for the sixth day when He created male and female in His own image… (which is what Gen 1:27 declares and Jesus quotes in V6)

On that sixth day… now with the addition of mankind He declared all that He made was not just “good”, but “very good”…

God is a trinity… the Father, Son and Holy Spirit… who is one…

And, man is made in the image God in that we are body, soul, and spirit yet one…

And, God saw all of His creation with one man and one woman in His image as very good…

Then, Gen 1:28 reads, “God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply ; fill the earth...” [all commands]

It takes male and female to procreate… and accomplish these commands by God.

God made man… one flesh. Then woman from man… two flesh. And, then joined them together… one flesh… to multiply and fill the earth.

God’s creation of man, then woman, and the design of marriage are expressions... of one God who has a plural nature.

When marriage is twisted or abandoned… it is an offense to God, and does not reflect His nature or His original design.

Jesus… in VSS 7-8… continues now quoting Gen 2:24… “‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.”

A man leaves his parents… to be joined to his wife.

In marriage proceedings… this is symbolized. The brides friends and family sit on one side… the grooms on the other side… with the immediate family in the front row… and the parents with the corner seats…

And, the bride walks down the isle all the way to the front… passing every row to take her place next to her husband to be…

She becomes first row in his life… and mom and dad, family and friends… all move one row back…

Because she is now elevated to the prominent place in his life… the front row in his life… he leaves his parents… and he also leaves his own singleness to be joined to her…

And, going from single to couple can be a rough transition for some.

There are sacrifices and negotiations… but with good communication, common vision, love for one another… and God in the center… two can become one flesh peaceably.

But, it’s obviously not always easy… since the beginning… at the fall of man… Adam blames his wife and blames God…

Adam said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” (Gen 3:12)

One scholar wrote, “From that time on, the passion of marriage has lived in tension with the challenges of being married.”

And, I’m confident Jesus understands the tension that mankind wrestles with…

One way I see this is how Jesus uses two different Gk words for “joined” in V7 and again in V9… gives us a picture of God’s intent for marriage… and why He never intended for divorce…

Joined in V7 is the Gk word prŏskŏllaō which means “to glue to, to adhere, to cleave.”

In marriage two join together and become one… and you cannot separate that union without damage.

My Pastor gave an excellent image of gluing two pieces of wood together with wood glue.

Once solidly adhered… if you break the bond that holds the wood together…

It’s not just the glue that separates… but pieces of wood splinters and remains with the other piece.

It’s damaging.

And, in divorce… there are pieces of each other life still stuck to each other…

Memories… children… possessions…

Divorce doesn’t just break the bond… it splinters pieces of our lives…

And, God knows the damage caused by severing the marriage covenant.

As much as it hurts the couple and the people in their lives… it hurts God as well…

I think this is one of the reasons Jesus wraps up this thought in V9 with summary statement of, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Even separation is not God’s ideal…

1 Cor 7:10-11 Paul shared some principles of marriage, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart [same word for separate], let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”

And, V9 also uses that second Gk word for “joined” which is suzeugnumi- and by def. it means “to yoke together or to conjoin.”

Just like two oxen who share a yoke to plow, marriage is also a partnership…

… in many ways including a spiritual partnership… this is a reason so often Paul’s words in 2 Cor 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers”… even though the context is not marriage… this is recommended as a good practice for marriage.

If you believe and your spouse does not believe… it adds complexity to the marriage…

They will neither understand nor fully partner with you in spiritual matters… prayer… being in the word… attending church… raising kids Christian…

At best, they cannot partner in these things… and at worst they become an antagonist to spiritual matters.

Ideally, be equally yoked when initially picking your partner.

And, if you’re joined… remain joined… don’t separate.

Marriage is special to God. Not just for us, but it’s the relationship He has with His people.

In Hosea 2:19, God promised Israel, “I will betroth you to Me forever...”

In Eph 5:22-32, and elsewhere in the NT, Paul describes Christ’s relationship to the church as marriage.

So, when God joins two people by the union of marriage, the ideal is for them to remain together.

In V10, Jesus and the disciples are now speaking in private…

In the house where they were staying in Perea… the disciples ask for further clarification about the grounds for divorce…

It would seem they have the same questions as many today…

“Are there biblical exceptions for divorce?”

So, in VSS 11-12 Jesus tells them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

In Matthew 19, Jesus even went on to discuss not marrying… and you can check out my Matt 19 sermon on Marriage & Divorce to hear more on that subject…

But, in Matt 19… the disciples conclude… with all these hard saying of Jesus… that it’s just better to be celibate… “it is better not to marry” they say.

I don’t think that’s the answer either, but that is the disciple’s initial response.

So, are there exceptions? Yes…

Divorce or separation are permissible in a couple circumstances… but IF reconciliation is possible, this is preferential.

If reconciliation fails, the only explicit exception is for adultery.

Jesus said in Matt 5:32 “… whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery...”

And, He repeated this in Matt 19:9… the parallel account to our reading today… which goes to show that Jesus indeed sided with the more conservative interpretation of “uncleanness” in Deut 24:1.

The marriage covenant is sacred to God… and being unfaithful to the covenant is so against God, that He permits a writ of divorce for marital unfaithfulness…

God Himself divorced Israel for a time because she was unfaithful…

As an object lesson to Hosea, we read in Hos 3:1 “Then the LORD said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the LORD for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans.”

Because they loved the pagan worship practices and played the harlot with these false gods… eventually God divorced Israel.

Isa 50:1 reads, “Thus says the LORD: “Where is the certificate of your mother’s divorce, Whom I have put away?”

Jer 3:8 declares “Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce...”

In Jer 31, God spoke about a day that a new covenant would be established with Israel and Judah… they will reconcile.

But their ancestors were not faithful… Jer 31:32 “My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the LORD.”

So, you get a sense… even personally with God… He understands divorce… He’s been divorced… but, He will also reconcile restoring her during the tribulation.

A second reason for divorce, which is not as explicit… but appears permissible… is abandonment by an unbelieving spouse.

For a couple who are unequally yoked… which may have happened by getting married that way… or one got saved after marriage…

We read this advice from Paul in 1 Cor 7:12-15 “If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. [Unbelieving family are not automatically saved, but are blessed to have a set apart influence in the home] 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”

And, so with that final verse… it would also appear that if the unbelieving spouse departs, the believing spouse is not held any longer to the marriage covenant.

Though, not all agree with that interpretation as it is not as explicit as adultery.

Finally, not explicit at all… is divorce in the case of abuse (physical, sexual, or psychological).

Many Pastors and scholars hold the position that in the case of an abusive spouse, divorce would be permissible… as this is a violation of many principles of scripture…

It is a violation of the “one flesh” and “helping” principles laid out in Genesis for marriage…

It is a violation of the love and respect principle for marriage that Paul taught in Eph 5.

It is a violation of the ‘mutual submission’ principle in Eph 5:21.

And, while we can find other principles violated by this action… the Bible does not explicitly spell this one out.

But, if one is being abused… there’s no shame in getting to a safe place… with one’s kids…

And, I recognize that’s a simple statement to a very complex situation…

That’s definitely not “one size fits all” advice.

All of these scenarios are very unique and require great discernment, time, counsel, and prayer… .

But, generally speaking… abuse is not a characteristic of God… it is against the nature of God…

And yet… even in this very difficult situations… there is hope.

God is in the business of changing hearts and reconciling.

As a summary statement to reaons to separate, Pastor David Guzik gave this illustration, “In using the terms joined together and separate, Jesus reminded us that divorce is really like an amputation. Sometimes in the most extreme circumstances, amputation may be the right thing to do. But the patient must first have a diagnosis worthy of such an extreme solution.”

And, one who divorces and remarries outside of one of God’s permissible reasons… when they remarry… they are committing adultery in God’s eyes… as VSS 11-12 declared… because their divorce was not valid in the eyes of God…

And, if the former marriage is still valid… one would be guilty of adultery and bigamy (marrying someone still legally married to someone else).

But, if divorce is made on biblical grounds… clearly adultery or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, then remarriage is permissible.

And, as we are just skimming the surface of this very deep topic… we get the sense of God’s ideal… and God’s allowances… and His heart…

And, one of the most explicit verses about how God feels about divorce is…

Mal 2:16 which reads, “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence, Says the LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit [be on guard], That you do not deal treacherously [or unfaithfully].”

God’s feelings on divorce are clear...

God hates… He detests divorce.

There is major fallout following divorce. Scripture states divorce causes violence to marriage (violence could also be rendered as “wrong” or “injustice.”).

There is emotional and relational trauma, financial disputes… and some people even blame God and fall away from Him… all kinds of violence.

One scholar stated, “A man’s covering himself … with his garment symbolizes marriage (cf. Ruth 3:9; Ezek. 16:8). But covering himself with violence describes violating the marriage relationship, which is what divorce does."

And, if we had to pin down one of the key reasons couples get to this place of falling away from one another…

It’s because they loose cite of the principles in Eph 5… go ahead and turn there in your Bibles.

It’s a good passage for us to read today. Ephesians is 4 books to the right of Romans…

Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians…

As we read this… hone in on the principles of love and respect… couples who fail in marriage often stop loving and respecting one another…

Eph 5:22-33 reads “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Submission is not inferiority, but order. The church is the bride of Christ… and it makes not sense for the church to be the head of Christ.

Christ is the head of the church… and in the design of marriage… God ordained the husband to be the head of the marriage and family.

Submission is an act of respect… and obedience to the Lord’s design.

And, this is not easy… God even told Eve as part of the fall of man and the curse…

Genesis 3:16 “Your desire shall be for your husband [to control your husband], And he shall rule over you.”

So, this is a constant struggle, BUT when the husband fulfills his role… the wife can trust his leadership… Eph 5 continues…

V25 “Husbands, love [agapaō… root word for agape… not easy to do] your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, [He sacrificially died for her… husband’s is that your heart for your wife?] 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [There’s Gen 2:24 again] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Love and Respect. So often couples put their foot down in obstinance because of a history of hurt from the past…

And, they declare, “I’m not going to respect him until he proves that he can love me.”

“Well, I’m not going to love her, until she respects me.”

But here’s the thing… whether or not you feel like she is worthy of love… and whether or not you feel like he is worthy of respect…

Let me ask… who laid out these principles? Who said to love and to respect?

The Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write these things.

And, so let me ask… husbands if you won’t love… and wives if you won’t respect… who are you disobeying?

You’re disobeying God.

The reason marital discord pangs so deep in one’s spirit is because you’re not only fighting one another… but you’re going against God.

And, His Holy Spirit who dwells in you is going to let you feel that conviction.

And, just like Jesus said in Mark 10 that Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of their hearts…

If we ignore and do not obey God’s command to love and respect… are we any different then them?

If you don’t want to listen to God’s command… is your hear not hard to God as well?

And, now a bigger issue is exposed… not just a marital issue, but a Lordship issue.

And, maybe some of us need to take a walk with that this week.

I would suggest that if this applies to you… to soften your heart… pray for God’s wisdom to heal your marriage…

And, take every step possible… maybe even for the second or third time to do what is necessary to heal your marriage…

You were googly eyes for each other at one time… invest in getting back to that place.

Worship team come.

For those of you who have been divorced…I recognize sermons on this subject are not easy.

To you I want to say that divorce is not the unpardonable sin.

Rom 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”

From David and Bathsheba would come Solomon… the third king over all of Israel.

To the woman caught in adultery, Jesus said, John 8:11 “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

No one threw a stone at her… and no one is throwing stones at you either.

God extends much grace to people, and we need to allow room for His grace to operate.

If Jesus is your Savior… you’re not condemned for sins of the past…that’s why Jesus died…to wash our sins away.

God’s ideal for…marriage…holiness…purity…we all fall short… that’s why we need a Savior.

Go in grace… go and sin no more… walk according to the Spirit…

Let’s Pray!

We are blessed to have God’s ideal for His institution of marriage…

If your hearing this message today, and have been considering divorce… I pray this message gave you counsel in the complexity of your circumstance…

And, if any of you need additional prayer or counsel, please let me know.

God bless your week ahead.